1) Introduce yourself.
“Hey, how are you? I am (insert name here).”
It seems simple, but it’s the most common thing we forget to do when we are feeling anxious and we see someone we want to talk to, or we are standing in a social circle and don’t know anyone. Start with “hello, how are you? My name is (blank).” That will give you the opening line you need to invite a conversation and learn more about the other person/people.
2) Compliment something about the other person.
“I like your (blank). Where did you get it?”
The power of a compliment is illustrated by Mark Twain when he said, “I could live for two months on a good compliment.” Maybe you know this, but people generally appreciate a compliment and based on research, we know people are more prone to like a stranger if they were complimented by them. So, if you are in a social setting and want to come across as likeable throw a few compliments at the person you are talking to and see what happens. Try complimenting them on something they have or something they’ve done (watch, blouse, bag, hat, shoes, speech, food dish, etc.)
3) Enquire about the other person’s hobbies and interests.
“What’s your favorite way to spend your time?”
Take the time to learn what the other person is all about. Find out what motivates them, what their passions are, what their story is. Ask “what” and “how” questions rather than “when” and
“where.” Starting a question with “what brought you out tonight?” or “how did you hear about this party?” allows for more open ended conversation and for you to learn more about the other person.